Below is not just another open letter from a stay-at-home-momma (SAHM) to a working momma. Aye, it’s much more personal and true to life than that. For my best friend is a wonder of a working momma. Though I aim to be as wondrous in my work-from-home writing & momma gigs, my bestie, and other working mommas I see & know, deserve more kudos, more hugs, more eyes meeting their gaze to tell them that they are ah-mazing in all the crazed plans they make + accomplish daily.
Dear Working Mom (Bestie),
Your colleagues don’t see you on your lunch break, scrolling through photos of the babe you were forced to leave after twelve small weeks at home. Your partner doesn’t always see how you wake early to shower and get dressed before your tiny bundle rises, and maybe even earlier on the days you have to look perfect for everyone but yourself at the office.
Your neighbors don’t see how much it tugs at your heart bits to drop off your babe every morning, only to wonder if his cold is going to get worse or if he has enough formula or if his little skin irritation you noticed during his bath-time was caused by the new organic soap you purchased. Every second of the day finds his sweet, vulnerable form in your mind ’til he’s nestled safely with you once more at day’s end.
But I see you. And I share in the bags found under your eyes, in the never-ending to-do lists, in the secret resentment towards a partner who can relax at the end of the day while a busy momma’s brain is not even close to entering relax mode, and in the messiest parts of your day that are also best kept hidden from public view.
There’s been a war on for some time that puts us on opposing sides, defending our choices to stay or to go. But we are the perfect team, you and I. For I see how hard it was in the days leading up to your return to work-life. And you see what I had to give up, too–the careers, the shiny things. We empathize with one another in the only way a momma truly can, and are left to marvel at the depths of ugliness found in guilting one another for the choices that mommas make (if they even had a choice at all).
Yet, still, I see you. Standing there, in your ill-fitting work garb because you’ve lost so much of that baby weight without even meaning to. And it is no wonder how, with all of your running ’round clocks, chasing down tasks your boss left unattended, knowing that you will have them completed. Record time.
I see you, and I value you and what your doing for your wee family. I’m so damn proud of the selfless woman you’ve become, and I cannot imagine putting on those heavy trousers, your wonder woman costume complete with that brilliant smile. You do it every day for everyone but yourself.
Just know, working mom, my best friend, that I will always see all that you do, and someday that little baby boy will grow up, and he will see it, too. For now, we will remind each other to soak up those casual but quick moments we have with our wee ones.
With all the love that one momma should always offer another,
your bestie, the SAHM